Happy new year to you reading this!!
So, tell me…how many resolutions have you broken?
In my usual fashion, I resumed a new year journal which I hope (well, now hoped) would be a daily recollection of all the things I am thankful for. After a sharp consistency from day 1 to 3, let’s just say that I have restrategized it into a weekly journal?♀️.
Resolutions aside, what I really wish for myself is a better planned and a very well executed year, and I mean this in all areas of my life. If you’re also a millennial who is still trying to figure life out (and are battling habits like inconsistency and procrastination), I advise that the word “planning” be heavy on your mind this year. Like a dear friend advised yesterday, you should also try to figure out your “why”, if you have not already done so.
Reward systems might also be helpful in the mix of things but we will talk about this in another article. I will occasionally share my journey and it would be super fun to hear from you too.
Before I digress too much, I ask again: Should I let Mr Kola massage my borry?
One random Saturday in 2018, I heard a knock and I opened my door to a man who introduced himself to me as Mr Kola, a mobile masseur. For just N1500, Mr Kola claims he can get anyone’s body back to its optimal function, internally and externally.
While I think that it is very brilliant to bring take the spa to the people if the people will not go to the spa, I still cannot wrap my mind around being in my underpants and a bra, with Mr Kola running his hands all over my skin. Even worse, it would be in the absence of anyone else.
I need to describe Mr Kola for you to better understand this scenario.
Imagine the Cheshire cat with long, beautiful tribal marks as whiskers and a generous upper and lower diastema, both large enough to accommodate one tooth each; that’s Mr Kola in all his (at least mid-40s) glory.
Does this description discredit Mr Kola and his mobile massaging hustle? Not in the least way. But am I personally uncomfortable having him knead my muscles in the absence of a third party and without an office that I can report to if anything peradventure, goes wrong? Yes, please. This is Nigeria and I would feel the same way even if it were the Weeknd or Idris Elba that showed up?.
On the flip side, maybe I am just an unadventurous, fearful little sucker who is not ready to leave her comfort zone and try new things; a problem that might be underlying in every other aspect of my life.
I can decide to either go against all odds, get down to my underwear and enjoy a premium home service massage for the super low rate of N1500 (bearing in mind the possible risks) or I can continue in my life of stress until I can afford a place with “lower risks”.
This point I am about to share is outrageous but you can take the Nigerian out of Nollywood and not the Nollywood out of the Nigerian, particularly in these end times of rituals and the likes. What if Mr Kola is going door to door to take people’s destinies?? (Okay please ignore that I even thought of this lol)
Well, he showed up at my door this morning asking if I have changed my mind to receive the wonders that his hands have for my body (and no he did not say it in these exact words). I know the choice is mine but I’d like to seek your opinion to form this (seemingly inconsequential) decision. If I were your sister, daughter, girlfriend, relative, friend or even random neighbour, would you advise me to give Mr Kola a chance?
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