Coming at a time when Ariana Grande’s God Is A Woman is my favourite song, this gist I am about to give you has really got me reconsidering the possibility of Ariana’s assertion.
Instablog9ja has been known for the past 3 years or so to be the one-stop social media shop for all things tragic, all things gory, all things despicable and all things commercial.
I must applaud them for their strong ethics in their unethical dealings. It must have taken (and still takes) dedication, guts, tenacity and more to build a homegrown hub so ‘destroyingly’ addictive. In my opinion, it must have also taken a dangerously low level of self-esteem to build clout from the exposition of people’s dirty laundry, in addition to the fantastic timely news and awareness drawn to various happenings at various ends of the world.
This sentiment, however, is simply what it is… A sentiment. Gossip and spy media all over the world do the most unspeakable things for information that can destroy careers, all for the love of ratings.
Linda Ikeji attained millionaire status by sharing daring news and dirty gossip which Nigerians loved so much that it fortified her digital real estate and made her price go all the way up.
Instablog simply moved this logic from web to the Instagram app and nailed it with the anonymity and a nasty “Above The Law” behaviour.
Like we normally do for Lekki Tollgate, more than once, my friends and I have tried to randomly estimate how much Instablog makes on a daily. Since I became aware of the commercial price, I’ve seen ads go from 25k to 35k to 50k to 70k and it must have been a long ass time since Instablog had less than 10 paid ads posted up in one day.
70k per ad x 10= 700k daily (on a minimum average and not adding the special rates that cover special and political ads.)
When I first caught wind of the brains behind Instablog being a woman, it was a bit hard to believe. Colour me shocked when Hauwa Mohammed (Jaaruma Empire) shared a questionable post that insinuated that she might be the owner of the notorious blog.
Everyone knows Hauwa of Jaaruma Empire as that go-getting, pesty IG sex therapist who spends a lot of money on ads where she licks her products and makes annoying moaning sounds. Well, what she might be trying to say with the post above is that she’s been technically advertising one of her businesses via her major business.
Ladies and gentlemen, Hauwa of Jaruuma Empire is highly suspected to be the owner of @Instablog9ja and the following are 3 shreds of evidence to back up the claim, and the reasons why she might be the most dangerous woman in Nigeria.
- Jaaruma is almost the poster child for Nigeria’s low-key thriving sex (almost porno) industry. Her angle is therapy, which puts her in the fore with a lesser potential of being judged. Going by the claims of what her products do, her business is likely to be booming but there is no way that her silky kola for luxurious pussy juice (as she says) is the only source of the wealth Hauwa shows off on Instagram. It only makes sense that what she flaunts as her profit from her products is really the proceeds from ads placed on Instablog9ja.
As promised….. Iv been posting my sales DAILY both cash & pos for the past 18 days because u said I’m broke, U said I’m not selling & no body is buying my products that is why I do promos #swipe_left . . From this night, to this afternoon to this morning to the past 18 days, do u see any promo price there? NO!!!! . . Please pay attention to DETAILS….. DATE TIME & NUMBERS #DONT_LIE . . I am the only person CONFIDENT enough to advertise other sellers on my page (this page) because I know THEY CAN NEVER EVEN COME CLOSE TO ME, THE #ORIGINAL_KNOWLEDGE, me, the ORIGINAL SOURCE so I will continue to advertise cheaper Sellers for u all BUT I WILL NEVER DO ANY PROMO AGAIN!!!!!!! . #swipe_left . If u see anyone copying Jaaruma, copying my write ups, copying my product, copying words I use, copying my style & pattern of marketing skills, pls scroll down & check the DATE & TIME of who studied, researched, was teaching it & posted it FIRST. From there u will know who has the ORIGINAL #KNOWLEDGE & who the fake copy is ? . . Silky Kola with lakanin Ningi SKMLN #February 21st 2016 JAARUMA’S KNOWLEDGE, SWEAT, FIRE, BLOOD, TEARS & HARDWORK…… I later released it officially to the General Public on the 23rd of #April 2017 . . Blue Eye #May 6th 2018 JAARUMA’S KNOWLEDGE, SWEAT, MONK TEMPLE, FIRE, BLOOD TEARS & HARDWORK @Blue_eye_by_jaaruma_emp_ningi . BEWARE OF FAKE ? BEWARE OF COPY ? BEWARE OF IMITATION ? BEWARE OF THOSE CLAIMING TO BE JAARUMA ? BEWARE OF THOSE CLAIMING TO SELL JAARUMA PRODUCTS ? BEWARE OF THOSE WHO COPY JAARUMA WORD FOR WORD FOR WORD? . #swipe_left
- Also within the sphere of the first point, it makes no business sense to advertise as frequently as Jaaruma does on Instablog9ja except, of course, she owns the damn platform or there’s something we are not being told.
- Hauwa recently confessed to being the owner of Instablog9ja on Instagram. It’s either she’s a professional attention seeking liar who would say anything to be noticed or, she’s now ready to let the world know of her best-kept secret. (Although she’s likely to say that she did not outrightly state that).
As for why she might be a dangerous breed, here’s the angle.
If Hauwa truly runs Instablog and the Modus Operandi is solely her idea, she is an apath who is automatically left privy to heaps of dirt on quite a number of Nigerians ranging from entertainment celebrities to politicians to even religious leaders. Her sex therapy business also puts her in a position where she is likely to get first-hand information on sensitive sexual scandals, particularly because a portion of her customers (and also judging from her videos) are high-class side chicks and pleasure providers to a host of prominent men. I’m not sure what Instablog’s policy on eyewitness news is, but Instablog9ja has unknowingly (and effortlessly) recruited a number of street soldiers who are camera phone ready to tape any and every kind of content, misfortune, e.t.c
As if this combination is not deadly enough, the description of some of Hauwa’s products gives off the impression of a level of diabolism. One of her acclaimed best sellers is a bracelet called “Blue Eye” and its function is to help women attract the attention of their choice men… It is at this point that I am really short of words and will leave you with the rest of the equation to solve.