This Journal Is Inspired By An Incident That Happened To A Female Friend Of Mine. She’s been very happily dating a guy for 9 months and to her shock, she ran into this guy, her “So Called Boyfriend” at a friends church with his wife and 3 sons all wearing matching colours attending a thanksgiving service. She’s been emotionally drained and most importantly asking herself ‘how did this happen to her?’ Because she didn’t know he was married.
Ladies / Gentlemen don’t be a Sheep in a World full of Wolves. This being said, when you meet a guy or lady who has taken an interest in you, don’t go into that relationship on “face validity” alone. Do a proper research on him, what a Psychologist would call “Construct Validity” I.e thorough search, bring out your inner FBI and CIA, don’t bother if you look like a stalker, you’re looking out for yourself. Google his name, check your mutual friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and any social media. Ask these mutual friends about him, his past relationships, etc you’ll be surprised what you may find out. And for those who didn’t do any research in their man and are dating him already, here are some red flags to look out for to know if he’s married or has another Girlfriend.
1. Any guy/lady who continuously doesn’t answer his/ her phone or reply messages past 9pm.
2. Any guy who has the perfect excuse for you not meeting his friends or family members for a long period of time
3. Any guy who never wants to go anywhere public like a mall, cinema, beach etc. always private bars or guest house
4. Any guy who tries to replace time spending with you with gifts and money
5. Any guy who doesn’t update pictures on bbm or any social media “too coded guys” ( you can’t know what they are up to
6. Any guy who disappears on his Birthday or Valentine’s Day in the name of a business trip.
All these are red flags you should look out for.
Ladies you don’t want to have an imaginary boyfriend or be with someone who has a family somewhere. The most important factor here is TIME. You don’t want to lose years or months of your life in an imaginary relationship that won’t bear any fruits.
by JORO OLUMOFIN