The term “Baby Mama” is defined as a mother of one or more of a man’s child, who is not his wife.
Ages ago, the Nigerian society frowned at having a child before marriage. In those days any woman who had a child before marriage was termed a mistress/concubine and the child from such relationship was termed a “bastard” (in Yoruba it is called ” Omo ale”). In recent times, it seems the society has accepted the baby mama term. The youth particularly do not seem too bothered about the tag of being a “Baby Mama”- especially when the “Baby Daddy” is a famous person. But isn’t a baby momma just a new way of saying “mistress/concubine”?. What are the joys of being a baby mama? Is being a baby mama worth all the drama/ wahala?
Children are precious gifts from God and coupled with the joy of having a mini creature come out of you(the joys of motherhood) the birth of a child is always something to celebrate. Some ladies get carried away looking for easy fame and money and being a baby mama to a famous person is now seen as an quick route to becoming a celebrity. Most times, however, the fame comes with a burden. These ladies can’t have their names said alone, it is either they are referred to as this person’s baby mama or that person’s baby mama. I even know of someone whose father is referred to as the father of someone’s baby momma… This is despite all the achievements the poor man has accomplished in his life. He is now forever tied to this celebrity (I won’t mention the name).
From the likes of Tuface,Wizkid,Davido and other Nigerian artistes with baby mamas, it is safe to say that most of these celebrities do not really end up marrying/dating their so-called baby mamas. So please, why the stress? I am not saying that marriage must be the outcome of every relationship, but why tie yourself down through a child by someone who will never be around, comes and goes as he pleases, and uses your child for cute photos on social media-but never a picture with you?
Lets take Davido (O.B.O) for instance, who has two baby mamas’ and is currently dating Chioma who he gave insurance/assurance by (gifting her a 45 million naira Porsche, helping her to secure a cooking contract, used her as the vixen in his latest song and he made it known he was in love with her). What did the baby mamas get? Nothing! Nothing but loneliness and the stress of single parenting. Why have a child for a man that may not even stand by you and respect you? It just boils down to the wahala.
In conclusion, I really don’t see any advantage in being a baby mama. It just comes with loneliness- a man will get married to a woman he loves than just a woman who had a kid for him, just like Tuface (after all his baby mamas, he still went back to marry the love of his life, Annie). Also, it may be difficult to get married after being a baby mama because in Nigeria you will be tagged as “second hand” or “after one”. So ladies please save yourselves the stress, keep your dignity and wait for marriage. You are not a baby manufacturing company- you are worthy of being respected and celebrated.