FOREWORD (as the publisher that ayam😁)
Just for the record, I swooned while reading and editing this plus, this is going to be a looong read but I promise it will be worth every “giphy” of your time 😉.
A lawyer friend of mine (I’m talking those types with constitution-preinstalled brains lmao), randomly sent me some write-ups she messed around with when she was…well, younger lol.
Anyway, I left them quite unattended to for like 2 weeks and then 2 days ago, we were lost in gist as usual when she just jokingly reminded me of ignoring her drafts.
Let’s just say I opened it and here we are today, making what I believe will be the best and sweetest piece you will read today.
You’ve gotta love music and everything about it. Sometimes, it is deeper than sales and the sold-out shows and the YouTube views.
While some of us just saw a lovey-dovey music video used to illustrate a nice song and to boost marketability, relevance and reach, a young girl watching it somewhere caught her high off it. She decided to create a voice each, for the multiple characters in this fairytale land that Banky W and his Yes/No song had carted her mind into.
I was legit on the third page when I realized “Oh, wait, is this not Banky’s video?” Silly me. She even titled the draft YesNoStory but my mind was probably functioning on low RAM.
Thank you my darling “Lil Jollof” for this. There couldn’t have been a better #TuneBackThursday post. I can see you smiling ear to ear right now. I unsten… Ees not easy to be featured on Vibe.ng. Yaf blown o 😜.
P.S, Thanks for leaving the dance part out babe😂🤣.
Aanyway, I’ll be here doing special effects with gifs n’ tinz while you read and enjoy…If you are eventually blown away, do not hesitate to drop a liru comment in the comment box.
Just before English Period, 14th Feb, 1999
Shit! Shit! Shit! How could I be so stupid? How could I have even forgotten to wrap the gift? It’s a bleeding gift! Well, that’s if a heart shaped box of chocolate and my scrawny writing splayed across a piece of paper which read: “Would you be my valentine?” could pass as an actual valentine. I really do hope she likes it tho.
”Do you think she’d say yes?
Maybe I should have wrapped it?
Do you think the Yes/No part was necessary?
Doesn’t it sound kind of presumptuous?
Do you think I should have put it sha?
Charley answer me na.”
Charles looks at me with this expression that read “dude!”
“Which 1 do you want me to answer first, eh? Listen to yourself, you sound like a girl! All these questions, na so e dey do you? Guy calm down. Stop shaking…”
I’m shaking? Didn’t even notice.
“…She’ll like it. Heck! It’s chocolate! Girls love that stuff. And the Yes/No part?, that’s the swag bro. The whole thing! Asking like a boss! Don’t worry, Girls love bossy, and chocolates.”
“You think so? What if she has allergies?”
Charles looks at me like I had sprouted another head.
“Really. Allergies…*straight face*”
At this point he knew whatever I had was serious.
He walks over to my seat in class and gives me a reassuring pat (which felt like a slap) on the back.
“Let her parents worry about her allergies”. You’ve done your part and she’ll probably be your girlfriend by the end of today”.
By this time, a few of my other friends who knew about the gig had walked over to our corner of the class to give “moral support”.
Amid several comments, “be a man” “no worry she go like am” “she go gree jor” “but that babe fine o…’ she walks in and I stop paying attention to them, all of them. Everything.
She walks to her seat gingerly, totally unaware of my little surprise. She pulls out her desk drawer n she sees the gift. She takes it out to look it over and she sees the note. She opens it and for a split second,
Then she smiles.
Choi! That smile. I fit die!
Taking the smile to mean yes, I mentally congratulate myself amid cheers from my guys. I am still basking in my euphoric state when the English teacher Mr. Kila walks in.
After English Period, 14th Feb, 1999
Finally, break time! It was like that class would never end. English Language has never been so boring *rme*. I put the gift in my school bag, ready to leave class. Mr. Kila walks out of the class and I’m almost at his heels. I really can’t wait to show my girls this stuff. Mebs will have such a laugh. And Banke will be sooooo interested in hearing the story.
Where are these girls sef?
I find them just by the kiosk, and I’m almost atop myself from the excitement.
“Guys, look!” 😀
They both peer into the open school bag, and ‘awwwhn’ at the chocolates. Mebs pulls out the note and they both read out the words on the paper.
“Would you be my Valentine? Yes/No”
”Awwwwhhhhhhn, so romantic! I love it” says Banke, all gooey eyed.
“So who is it from? How did it happen? She asked. Dear Banky, always gist-hungry.
“I’m not sure exactly, buh I think it’s from Kole, you know, that cute dude with the Megamind-looking head, yeah. I just got to class, and opened my desk and it was there.
Mebs doesn’t look too excited tho.
“It’s romantic jor.”
“Yeah buh it reeks of arrogance.”
“Na you sabi.” Turning to me, Banke asks “so…did you say yes?”
“Not exactly. I just smiled.”
“And nothing, just smiled.”
“Good. Vacation is in a few weeks, and you are travelling right after. There’s no point starting what you can’t finish. Besides your mom will kill you.”
Why was Mebs so… negative today?
“True. But yes or no, these chocolates have come to stay”. You see, Banke is a chocoholic…in a manner of speaking.
“But of course, who returns such?” Mebs is finally getting in the mood as she pops 1 into her mouth.
“Ahan, guys let’s get to the hostel na”. Too late. Half the chocolate is already gone.
“It was Banke o, not me. ”
“But u ate bah?”
“Ehen na, before?” We lol-ed our way back to class.
9 a.m. Aug 28th, 2012
Ok, this dude should reply my mail already. By the way, when is this meeting supposed to begin? I looked at my wrist watch ; 9:45 .This lady better be bubbling over with good excuses, and be cute enough to make me accept them.
Oh great, here’s the much awaited reply.
“yeah. Will do. Joey’s by 7?”
Joey’s is a sports bar close to my office building, and Charles’ and our favorite hangout.
I’m about to reply when she walks in. and what I see next makes me freeze for a second. Literally freeze.
NO! The Ademide DaCosta, my high school sweet heart and the star of my teenage dreams????
I blink like four times in quick succession just to make sure. Yep, ‘tis she, in the flesh!
She’s all grown up and waaaaaaaaaay hotter than I remember….boy, she fine!
She doesn’t seem to have noticed me tho as she begins her presentation amid profuse apologies for being late, and that gives me ample time to gawk. Damn!
She goes on and on about some capital margin and PR management or something like that, I really can’t remember. By this time I have fully lost concentration and I’m just smiling like a retard. At a point, she looks up at me, and smiles.
That smile! Bless my soul!
The meeting is almost over. I put on my best game face. I’m on top of this ish like yesterday! Time to set this p! More like re-set. LOL
9:45am! I’m not late at all! Stupid car!
I hurry into the building and make for the elevator in the lobby. Out of Service. Great! I hurry up the stairs all the way up to the 9th floor, all the while wishing they would become escalators. Finally I reach the 9th floor and thankfully the rest room is in view. I dash into the restroom for some image repair. I couldn’t very well be going for a presentation with my hair all over the place. If they’ve waited this long, surely, they can wait two more minutes?
I enter the board room with as much composure as I could muster right there and then, and with a quick silent prayer I begin to render mumbled apologies for coming late all the while trying frantically to set up.
Finally, I’m ready.
I notice some cute dude staring hard at me, like he knew me from some place. He did look familiar tho. A lot. And did I mention he’s cute? 😀😉😉
I mentally shake myself back to the present. There’ll be plenty of time to remember and fraternize after this deal. Right now I have a presentation to do.
I begin my presentation.
7:15pm. Tue, Aug 28. Joey’s Bar
“Boss!”, Papi, the Bartender hailed as I took to one of the bar stools.
“Heeeee, my man! How market this night na?”
“You know, we doing alright. People coming and going steady, and it’s just 7. God is good. Your usual?”
“Nah. It’s a work night. I fit no show work tomorrow if I take my usual. Beer’s fine”.
“you have a point.” He replied with a slight tilt of his head half full of white hairs. Why did he even have white hairs? Dude was barely 25!
“Where’s your better half?”, he asks as he hands me a bottle of cold beer.
“Charles? I no sabi for the guy oh. He said to meet up here at 7, and he’s late. As usual.”
He gave a little laugh and said “you two are meant to be together”. I laugh too. He couldn’t have put it better. As I bring out my phone to make my quarter-hourly routine check on Charles’s whereabouts, he shows up.
“Guy abeg no vex. That Falomo bridge don chop curse” he said as his own form of apologizing.
“Wetin you find go Falomo bridge?”
“I go arrange one package for ikoyi ni jere”
“This guy, woman no go kih you. Scratch that, na woman go kih you!”
“Haha, lies!!! I’m the king yo! Even if anytin wan kih me, make e be plane crash abi bomb so I no go feel am.”
While we are still bickering about what Charles’ cause of death would be, I hear Papi’s low whistle.
“Speaking of explosives, check out that DYNAMITE!” he is looking like he had seen a mermaid. I follow his gaze and saw her walk in. Still dressed in her office clothes, asides her jacket being off, she looks like she looked in the morning…stunning!
“Wait, is that…?” Charles asked
“In the flesh!” I reply, still mesmerized by the sight before us.
“Wow. She done grow o. Grew nicely too. Let me go and say hi.”
“What? No way mehn! Back off, this one’s mine!”
She walks up to the pool table while the girl she came with walks up to the bar to order drinks. I pick up my beer and walk towards her…
8:00pm, Joey’s bar
I do a little inward dance as I almost skip to the pool table out of sheer joy. ‘How I’ve missed thee!’, mentally hugging the table. I haven’t done this in a while. Really, I haven’t done ANYTHING in a while! Feels good too.
Picking up a cue stick, I try to test my rusty skills. As 1 ball goes into one pocket, I’m thinking yep, still garrit! 3 more balls in and I’m literally dancing.
I’m still in ‘the mood’ when I heard someone chuckle beside me.
“Wow. Who knew you could dance? I didn’t.”
“I truly, honestly did not intend for anyone to see that”.
“Don’t worry, twasn’t so bad. It’s good to know Ademide DaCosta danced at all.”
Now he has a smirk on.
He gives a little surprised look as he says “I see you’ve done some brain racking. You didn’t seem to remember me this morning.”
“No…well yeah, I did do some brain-racking, but I knew I knew you from somewhere. That counts for something right?” I give my most adorable smile.
“C’mon! Gimme a break! It’s been ages.
“Yeah, more reason why you should give me a hug now, before I change my mind and I walk away.”
“oh, that would be totally disastrous!” I said with a worried face. We both laugh. “Come here you.”
We hug. He doesn’t feel skinny. No, he feels buff. Dude actually got some muscles on him. Feels good too *wink*.
A few seconds after the hug, I’m smiling like a dunce. Woman, get yourself together!
“I see you are playing pool. Wuda joined buh nah, I really don’t want you to cry on that blouse. Too beautiful.”
“Really? You think you can beat me…at pool?
“I don’t think, I know”. That smirk again. *rme*
“Put your money where your mouth is.”
“I don’t know about gambling with a wo…”
“I dare you.”
“What?! Better be ready to get a whooping.” He is walking around the table to pick up a cue stick when he stops. “Stakes?”
“when I win, you take me to dinner on Friday.”
“Oh, you are soo going down!”
He makes the first pocket.
8 pm, Friday night
She’s late. Women are always late. Wait, that probably makes Charles a woman. Now it all makes sense.
Just as I’m about to order some water, she walks in.
“You look amazing…and you are late”, I said as I stand up to greet and pull out a chair for her.
“Thank you and yes, that was the plan.”
“Yeah, I mean, how else were you supposed to watch me walk in and pull out a chair for me if I was already here and sitting? No. then, I’d have to get up, walk out and walk back in just to have my moment. Too much stress.” she said, smiling all the while.
REALLY??? Amazing woman!
“Nice place”, she says, looking around. “You better be happy I won cos if you did and I had to pay for dinner, we would have just gone to one amala joint downtown. That counts as dinner too bah?”
I laugh at this. “C’mon! I let you win. Because that’s what gentlemen do. Besides, you are just a cheat. That last game was shady!” I pull a mock pouty face.
“Aww, such a cute face, hold on…” she pulls out her phone “…lemme take a picture”.
“No freaking way!”
We order and start talking…about all sorts. I’m really starting to enjoy the dinner when a fan…..let’s just say that I’m a key player in the music industry. And quite popular among the ladies too. *wink*…..walks up to me to ask for an autograph, and being the nice guy that I am, I oblige…till she yells across the room for her friends to come for autographs, it starts to get slightly uncomfortable.
After what seems like 30 minutes (I’m not sure about the real duration), autograph signing is over and I realize that I’m actually at a dinner…with a beautiful woman .
“I’m sorry about that.”
“Nah, it’s ok, didn’t notice you were gone.”, waving her phone, “smart phones…simply irreplaceable!” I could feel the sarcasm from across the table.
“I really am sorry. That was really rude” this time meaning it.
“You don’t say!”, rolling her eyes. “And she kept looking at you like Chinese takeout. I thought that part was funny.”
“Really? I didn’t even notice.”
“Really, and you did notice. You are just too modest to admit it. Does it happen like this all the time?”
“To be honest, most of the time. Occupational hazard ” I give her my most charming smile, hoping she’d forgive my rudeness.
“Then maybe I should get my autograph now?:D”.
We laugh and get on with dinner.
12th February, 2013, MyRecordLabel HQ
Things get pretty serious with Ademide. I call Charles and two other buddies. I really need their opinion on this one. We agree to meet at my office after hours.
Johnson is the first to arrive; Charles arrives at 7:30.
As usual, we begin with the banters with Johnson throwing the first jab at Charles.
“I hope you are not late for you own funeral. Haba, even Ada has a better sense of timing than you…and her natural body clock is always 30 minutes behind!” Ada is Johnson’s wife.
Tables however turn and Johnson is the butt of the joke. You see, he’s the only married on and he has…well, a curfew.
“I can afford to be late, ion have nowhere to go from here, and nobody is going to blow up my phone if she doesn’t see me by 7:30. Kole, we need to be fast o, if Ada doesn’t see Johnson by 7:35, shes’s going to file a missing persons report.”
We have a good laugh.
“Seriously though, I need to show you guys something.” I pull out a velvet box from my jacket pocket.
Johnson grabs the box, opens it and gasps at its content. “Whoa! Who get am?”
“Your grandma. Ode.” Kunle retorts. He’s the quiet one, but can be very….mean. He then looks up at me and says “That serious?”
“Yep. Well, I think it is.” I’ m really not sure.
Charles walks up to me and grabs my shoulder;“You need to be sure man. It’s a big step. Ademide is a great girl tho. And fine too. Wait, I’m assuming the ring is going to Ademide, right?”
“You think everybody is like you bah? Oniranu.”
Charles laughs. “What can I say, I’m God’s gift to womankind! Anyhow sha, congrats bro, and safe trip to curfew lad! Me? Forget D’banj, I’ll always be a player!”
The other guys get up to congratulate me and we clink beer bottles to celebrate.
10pm. Feb 14th, 2013. Club Coco
What I wouldn’t give to not be here right now! I look around the club and I see some familiar faces, no buddies in sight though. Nodding off some and throwing a couple “Hey, what’s up?”s around, I make my way to a seat in the VIP section and order a bottle of Patron. Well, I’m here now, might as well drink something. Besides, I need some boost for what I’m about to do. There are so many people in the club, it’s a miracle I got a free spot. The DJ isn’t bad, but I don’t begin to feel him until iyanya’s ‘Flavour’ comes on. Now that’s my jam!
I’m rocking in my seat, a little tipsy when this girl comes and starts grinding all over me. I’m not exactly in the mood but she’s hot so…hey, what’s the worst that could happen?
I’m enjoying the lap dance until she begins to get all grimy and personal. Ok, I didn’t sign up for this. She tries to kiss me, and then I push her away-“Maybe another time”.
I look at my watch, its 11pm. Yep. That’s my cue, I’m leaving this place.
I get up to leave, and make my way down stairs making a bee line for the exit. I turn and notice the weird girl from just now following me so I paid the bouncer to block her till I left.
I head home. If I don’t do this now, I’m never going to do it.
Rewind 15 minutes, 10:45, Feb 14th, 2013
Mehn, this place is crowded. And does the music have to be so loud?
I really am sad. This is how I spend Valentine’s Day…with a couple of girls from the office…in club…on a Thursday! What is wrong with me?! Oh well, it’s not like I have anywhere else to go.
“Guys, I have to leave soon, I’m really tired. Besides, I have to be in Abuja tomorrow.”
They respond with a couple “aww, ok”s.
I’m finishing up when drink when I notice someone very familiar sitting g across the room. Wait, isn’t that Kole? Getting a lap dance from…a hooker??? What’s worse, he seems to be enjoying it too! No he did not just put his hands around her! . I’m so telling on your ass!
I bring out my phone to call Ademide. The place is really noisy so I step out. She picks on the third ring.
“Hey Mebs, what’s up?”
“Ade, where are you?”
“I’m at home. Kole’s Apartment.”
“Is he home?”
“No, he had to work tonight. That’s why we didn’t go out sef. Tomorrow is our Valentine.”
I can hear the excitement in her voice. Poor dear!
“Cheiiiii, Dem don give you zobo and you chop am! Which work? I’m in a club and I just saw your boyfriend here now, getting a lap dance!”
There is silence from her end.
“Are you sure twas my Kole you saw?
“Ahnahn , don’t I know him again ni? I said I saw him seh. He’s still…oh, I think he’s gone”.
“I think you are mistaken. You must be. Kole is working”. She is obviously in denial.
“Except the job description includes free lap dances in night clubs on Valentine’s day, then darling he’s not working.”
She is crying now. I could hear her sniffs and I feel bad. Should have kept my big mouth shut.
“Sweetie are you ok?”
“No. I’ll talk to you later” she hangs up.
Oh well, I’m just being a good friend. That cheating bastard! She should dump his ass sef. Will serve him right for doing this to her…on Valentine’s day!
I walk back into the club, grab my bag and leave.
11:30pm, 14th Feb, 2013, Kole’s Apartment
‘How could he do this to me? Really? He said he was working! I should have known! What was I even thinking? What serious boyfriend works on Valentine’s day?’ I keep mumbling to myself as I throw all my stuff together in my carry-all. ‘I knew this was too good to be true. We are soooo over! I’m just going to get out of here and never come back!’.
I’m done packing and I leave a note saying “DON’T CALL ME!” on the bed. As I pick up my box to leave, I hear a knock on the door.
I lift the little box off the bed and open the door and I see him. It’s Kole. The nerve!
I’m about to start telling him off when I notice he is down on one knee. No. this can’t be what I’m thinking… I further notice an open velvet box in his hand, with the sparkliest ring inside. Then he opens a little note which read: Would You Be My Valentine wife? Yes/No
The little box drops from my hand as I gasp at him, at the ring, at everything. It is literally, the most romantic scene ever! I look at his face and he looks so heart-wrenchingly sincere, so in love, and for a moment, I forget about all the bad stuff and everything and everyone else and it feels like we are the only two in the world and all the world was here and now.
Oh, I love this guy.
Now I’m not saying all is forgiven, or he’s not going to get his tongue lashing, there’s plenty of time for that later. Right now, I’m just going to enjoy being in love with someone who loves me even more, in a perfect place, on Valentine’s Day.
The ❤ End
*Wipes happy tear* (Insert hopeless romantics group hug)
Story by ‘Lil Jollof’ – I swear that’s the name she said I should put there😂.
As inspired by: Banky W’s Yes/No Video