My Dad Keeps Talking About Marriage But Am I Ready?

the pressure to get married
the pressure to get married

Before I tell my story, I have two questions to ask. Is there a particular attached age to girls for marriage?

Why do parents refuse their daughters from dating but begin to talk about marriage at a particular age, like the husband just falls from the sky or comes to your door knocking?

So, I am a 24 years old Nigerian female, I work in the entertainment world and last year, I moved out of my father’s house to stay alone on the Island. My dad has always been a typical Nigerian father, he was cool with my friends, male or female but would not hear of a boyfriend.

I wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend or be involved seriously with anyone until after school and it was almost like that, I was a tom-boy anyways and wasn’t interested in dating. Well, fast forward to after school and serving. Dad called me one day for a meeting and the topic was marriage, I was 23years old then. His line was “I married your mom at 22, you’ve grown past that so you are more than old enough”.

the pressure to get married
the pressure to get married

Imagine my shock, I wasn’t allowed to date barely a year before and now he expects me to be getting married, how? To who?

So, in my head, I’m like “is the husband supposed to fall from heaven or come meet me in the house? How do you find a husband when you’ve not started dating? Am I prepared, mentally, emotionally or physically?”.

I was 23, now 24 years old. So, I decided to go home for the Christmas break and guess what, he spoke about the same thing. This time, reminding me of the importance of early marriage for females and pointing out my cousins getting married as an example.

Did I tell you that I am still single? Tried dating severally though but yeah, single.

I am just very unappreciative of the pressure to get married when I was denied the opportunity to start dating early. This is where I’ll like to say, I think every girl should be allowed to start dating early, 18 years is not too young to have a boyfriend.

Right now, I don’t even know how to be in a relationship I am so used to being alone that I don’t know how to be with anyone. I want to but I just don’t know how to and that is not even talking about knowing how to recognise love. I see every form of interest as a threat and I withdraw.

So, tell me, if I am not even ready to share my space, emotionally or physically, how can I be ready for marriage?

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