From a distance, Nigeria is an African country or as some would say, the giant of Africa but in actual reality, Nigeria is a round-the-clock comedy show with 180 million+ people participating both as characters and members of the audience.
Creating a 4-part list in this situation is a joke but I chose to bring you a short snippet from the past couple weeks because I wasn’t quite sure of where to start from.
No… Really, where exactly would I start from
Animals swallowing our currency? Rats in the presidency? The presidency?? The economy? Chibok girls? Sars? Boko Haram? Instablog9ja? Diezani?
No fam. I will simply tease you with the top 4 as inspired by this video of a youth Corps member teaching children in Calabar and insulting them out of what looks like pure frustration (And this is not even on the list but trust, I saved the best for last ).
1. Senator Ovie Omo Agege the Mace Thief
About 4 weeks ago, a member of the Nigerian Senate known as Ovie Omo Agege stole the mace of authority from the National Assembly with the help of thugs, simply because he was suspended for misconduct…
2. Dino Melaye the singing and acting politician
Dino Melaye is a controversial Nigerian politician, who is popular for his flashy and “youthful” lifestyle. Dino is also very fond of shading and calling out of his fellow politicians, sometimes through the use of music.
One fine day, Dino suddenly gets arrested on the grounds of sharing “false information”. You can click this to check out the full story of how the matter went down but on one of the days that Dino is to appear in court, he shows up on a stretcher. Hilarious right?
3. Our Over-efficient EFCC Squad
First, I’d like to appreciate the Economic and Financial Crimes Commision for all that they stand for (eyes rolled to my skull). I am thankful that cybercrime is now top priority for them even though I’m not quite sure of the most recent strategy employed. Who goes to a nightclub to make random arrests with no warrant and based on assumptions?
Maybe they truly had a lead and went there with intention but did they have enough proof to have detained anybody that night? If we are also being honest, there are rotten apples in the EFCC too. On countless occasions, members of the EFCC have raided internet hubs in Benin City in search of Yahoo boys, only to let them go as soon as they pay a certain sum.
4. The Disgraceful Speech of our Inspector General of Police
Our IGP Ibrahim Kpotun Idris recently gave a speech in Kano and it has left us all desperate for a bidder to just come and whisk this country away.
I clearly understand that English is not our mother tongue but if it really has to come to that, why was that speech not done in Hausa? As if that wasn’t enough, the Nigerian Police, with all effrontery claimed via a verified handle on twitter that the video was doctored. Like, really?!?!? Someone somewhere must think we are cows in human skin.
on a lighter note, I can’t wait to hear what fire tune my trusted Nigerians hope to make out of this, just like they did my Oga at the top.
I’m quite unsure of how much repair our PVCs can get us but I am getting mine regardless and you should too. It’s all fun and games until we realize how deep in dung we are.
Asa was right.
There is fire on the mountain but no one seems to be on the run.